Hell-O 2009!?

HAPPY 2009!

yellow is s'posed to be the year's LUCKY color.
luckily i LOVE yellow. :))

12.31.08

It's the LAST day of 2008.

2008 for me has soooo many ups && downs.
I enjoyed it, srsly... :)

Goodbye 2008
&& thank you for all the sh*t you've
put me through, it'll make me stronger.
Thank you for all the new friends I made && all the old ones that you let me keep.
Thank you 2008.

Oh, and before I forget,
HELL-o 2009!
HELL-o to new conquests && adventures.
HELL-o to more nursing procedures && more comparisons from professors.
HELL-o to the endless homework.
HELL-o to all the ups && downs of the new year.
HELL-o to my upcoming 18th birthday. (MAY12 - I accept cash... *wink*...)
HELL-o to my old buddies, my KIDDS && to new friends!

May we ALL have a pretty awesome 2009!

* according to Chinese horoscope it'll be a so-so year for me with a lot of
"unfavorable" months... oh well, that's life... *

10 Most Crippling Phobias

Was thinking of my fear of spiders when I decided to look up the ten most crippling fears/phobias. *credits to: http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-most-crippling-phobias.php

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10. Chronophobia

The fear of clocks might easily be overcome; however, the alternate definition of chronophobia is the fear of time. Time surrounds us, it binds us – sorry, Star Wars moment there. If a person were to rid herself of all reminders of time such as clocks that would be one thing. But fear has a way of creeping up on someone. As soon as she thought about the fact that time is slipping away, perhaps their sanity might as well. Photo by Perpetually.

9. Stasibasiphobia

Most people might think that couch potatoes have this fear of standing up and walking. It’s not true; most couch potatoes are just averse to the idea. However, a person with stasibasiphobia could very well never get anything done in life, unless he was confined to a wheelchair. But what happens if that person is afraid of someone else standing up and walking? Does that mean the phobic must live in isolation in a sitting position for the rest of his life? What a drag!

8. Domatophobia

Most Americans want four walls, three meals a day and a bed to sleep on. Unfortunately, most of those things are on this list as crippling phobias including domatophobia, fear of houses or being in a house. The only logical cure to this phobia would be to live in a cave or some other natural enclosure unless the fear doesn’t extend to apartments or condos. Either way, that’s a portion of the American Dream dashed. Photo by elliterate

7. Decidophobia

You just did it! You just made the decision to continue reading this list, which includes the phobia of making decisions, decidophobia. A person who cannot make a decision is likely to be eternally stuck in a rut. Unless something becomes second nature such as everyday routines, a person could be crippled by the simple decision of what to eat for breakfast. Photo by Garretc.

6. Nyctophobia and Photophobia

For these two fears, they are sides of the same coins like a Yin-Yang symbol – literally. Nyctophobia is the fear of night or darkness, while photophobia is the fear of light. Perhaps the only way to handle these fears is sleeping through the night or through the day, then again turning on all your lights might help a phobic handle the fear of darkness, not necessarily the electricity bill. On the flip side, a photophobic would have to live in the dark for the rest of his life – talk about being white as a sheet. Photo by carbonblack

5. Anthropophobia and Lalophobia

Like No. 6 on our list, these fears could potentially isolate the phobic for life. Anthropophobia is a fear of people while lalophobia is the fear of speaking. Maybe the hermit with domatophobia should get together with the anthropophobic. Nope, that wouldn’t work, because the hermit is still a person. And don’t forget that never being able to speak or be around another person certainly wouldn’t do well for social skills. Photo by SaraMcL.

4. Urophobia

From here on out, this list becomes phobias of functions that humans must do to survive. And that means that the phobias, such as urophobia or the fear of urination, would put a cramp on anyone’s life style. A catheter might be a stop gap measure as long as someone else would agree to change the phobic’s bag. Either way, everyone has to release bodily waste and this fear could make bathrooms a very unpleasant experience no matter where the phobic is. Photo by Phil Dokas.

3. Somniphobia and Clinophobia

While you don’t necessarily have to be clinophobic to be somniphobic, it doesn’t really matter once you realize that going to sleep is never an option anymore! A person with somniphobia fears sleep while a person suffering from clinophobia fears beds. I’m sure a clinophobic could just sleep standing up. However, humans need the REM cycles of sleep to help digest their everyday thoughts and activities. Without sleep, a person could, potentially, slowly go insane due to fatigue and too many screws loose in the noggin. We all have nightmares, but can you imagine having a waking nightmare about going to sleep? Photo by rbatina

2. Phagophobia

And the final piece of our American Dream is having three square meals a day. But what if you had phagophobia, the fear of eating? There are people – in hospitals – who live on liquid diets. But to go without food must be torturous on a daily basis, unless of course, you’re a phagophobic. It must be hard for a phobic like this to go out on a date since he would obviously not ask his date out for dinner. And the holidays must also get awful lonely without the company and great food! Photo by Laura Mary.

1. Anemophobia

Catch your breath, especially if you have anemophobia, the fear of air. A person could be scared every moment of her life. Sure eating, sleeping and all the other fears on this list could cripple people on a daily basis, but not potentially for every moment of your waking life. There are a number of methods to counter phobias, all of which seem like they would fail miserably contingent on how paralyzed a phobic is of air. Outside of living in a bubble with a controlled atmosphere, nothing comes to mind to counter such a phobia. Even a little fresh air to help cleanse the mind wouldn’t help in this case.

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So, What are YOU afraid of? :))

Merry Christmas ~ after all

Dearest Santa,

Hey I know I'm way old to be writing letters to you. I mean most of the people I know think you're overrated && just a made up character to encourage little kidds to behave, at least for the Christmas season. Anyway, I'm writing you not to ask for something. I'm past the materialistic side to Christmas. I'm writing you to thank you for this year's Christmas.

I know I haven't been showing much of the season's spirit. I've just been really bummed && sad most of the time. You know that my daddy has spent only 3 Christmases with us. So we're usually incomplete on Christmas. But then last night's Noche Buena was spent with my cousins && my uncle that came home. I realized that even if daddy wasn't with us, I still was happy && lucky to be with family.

Thank you for making me realize that Santa.


Love,
Kidd at heart.










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Merry Christmas Kiddos.
It's not the tinsel nor the pretty lights.
Not the lechon nor th leche flan.
Not the candy canes nor the mistletoes.
It's about family.

Merry Christmas again && A Prosperous New Year!

Okay.

Things To Do Tomorrow:
1. Get Up.
2. Survive.
3. Go To Sleep.


~ go figure. :"<

Kapitan Juan.

Kapitan Juan.
Captain John.

My dad is AMAZING.
He actually looked for a way for his international ship to pass by Zamboanga waters. When I heard the news the first thing that came out of my mouth was : OMG! WTH! That it totally COOL!

So, imma be outta here at 3pm to go see him by the shore.

Incomplete :"<!-- < -->

Something's missing.
I feel so incomplete.
Or maybe that's just my head messing with me again.

I see them there for me.
My so called friends.
And yet I still feel so totally alone.

It's this season.
It does things to me.
It makes me sad.

It hurts to know that I'm missing a part of me.
Is it family or is it a friend?
Either way, I wish they'd complete me again.




~ a poem does not necessarily have to rhyme.

5 Months

Today is December 12, 2008.
Today is exactly 5 months before I turn18.
5 months... Maaaaan. I'm old yo!
Tisssssssssssss.

~ Everybody's expecting me to grow up already && take responsibility for ALL my actions. So yeah, I wanna dissolve. HAHA. Plus everything && nothing is going well. Everybody && nobody cares about how I really feel right now. I'm confused. I am. :[

NATIONAL PRIDE? --- ♥

Today at around 08:05 am
iRonnie asked:


"Bukod kay Manny Pacquiao, ano pa ang iyong source (personal question) ng national pride?"



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This is a question that cuts close to my heart. I've always been writing poems && letters about my mum. I've always acknowledge her presence in public. I grew up with her usually always by my side. But this post, this very special post, is not about my mother. This post is about her partner in crime whose sperm, scientifically && biologically speaking, is the reason why I am here as well.



I'm not going to compare him to PACMAN nor am I going to really explain in detail why he is a NATIONAL HERO. Read, and you will truly understand what this post wants to impart.






Now, I must first warn you that this will be a very long post. [or not.] So if you don't plan on reading the WHOLE thing then saying something about it, then I advise you to click that little square box with the "X" mark on the tab. Mkayyysothanksbye.


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--- So, you're still here? ---

ENJOY.



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If you personally know me, I will not have to tell you what my father's job is. But for the sake of those who don't really know all the fast facts about me, my father is a seaman. He's been promoted to Captain status thus out of respect you write his name as:


Capt. Robert John L. Parel, M.M.

* if you don't imma hunt you down & slap the living lights out of you*


My father went to the academy for his training. He is a PMMA-er. He went to the Philippine Merchant Marine Academy. And I'm damn proud of him. You see, my father, when his time came to go to College, he really wanted to take up Nursing. He felt deep in his heart that taking up Nursing would be good for him. It would take him to the "green land, the land of milk & honey"...
He knew in his blood that he could get out of little old Zamboanga. But that was where he was cut short of support.

His parents DECIDED that it would be better and more practical for him to become a seaman. You see, the tuition fee was cheap and as my father put it :
"Anak, libre ang lodging kaso libre rin ang bugbog."

My father was convinced by his parents, especially his father, that being a seaman would also take him places. He could travel the world. And he did, he is travelling the world now but I don't think my paternal grand parents were ever aware of th conditions my father was put through in the academy. And what for? So that his sibling could be better off back here in Zamboanga.

My father, he went through shit at the academy. Rules were rigid. He was trained and molded not only to be a great seaman but to be disciplnied and ordely like a soldier. Yes, my father is not only a seaman, he is like a soldier. It was ingrained into him not to CHEAT, STEAL or LIE. That was their golden rule. NEVER EVER CHEAT, STEAL or LIE.

I recall my father and mother sharing stories bout life back then. I pitied daddy's conditions. You see, there was a Christmas time that he wasn't able to go home because his parents couldn't afford his fare trip, he came home for New Year's (that year) only. But when it came to other children, they were well accomodated.

My father lived on Maggi & pandesal and other "cheap" foods at the academy. He put up with that treatment because he knew that it was for the benefit of his 4 younger sibling back home. They were able to eat fried chicken, porkchop, dinguan and whatever while my father, being the eldest, put up with poor food quality.

But daddy, he never complained. He never ever complained.
He fulfilled his duty as son and brother.
That was one of the primary heroic things my dad did for his family. He suffered for his siblings so that they could take the courses that they wanted.

And what did they repay him with? They repayed my father by:

Disrespecting him.
Not keeping in touch.
Acting like they are all big shots since they've all migrated to the states.
Answering back.
Not updating my father about how the hell they are.

... and so much more.
But on my part, what hurts the most, is the fact that my paternal grandmother, it seems as if she's also forgotten her eldest child. She's forgotten my daddy. And that hurts me. As his eldest daughter, that pains me. Having to think about my father having this kind of familial relationship. It's a sad and cruel situation.

Thinking about it sometimes make me sick. Especially now with the debut preparations and everything. I'm sure people will be talking about USAid. There is no such thing as any financial help from my father's siblings. PERIOD. Let's get that straight.

Anyway, going back... My father is a national hero in a sense that he is an OFW.
Dollar earner.

To most, his being a NH stops there but for me, his daughter, the dollars he earns are only the tip of the iceberg. My father is a national hero, not only because he adds to the dollars sent into the Philippines but because of the fact that even if he could stop working abroad, he still keeps on going.

He suffers the heat, the cold, the homesickness and all the other shit that seamen encounter.
That is more than enough reason on why he's a hero.
Okayy, so maybe he isn't a NATIONAL hero for you,
but he's my dad.



He's my HERO.
He is.

Taurean. XD

TAURUS - The Tramp

Aggressive.
Loves being in long relationships.
Likes to give a good fight.
Fight for what they want.
Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention.
Extremely outgoing.
Loves to help people in times of need.
Good kisser.
Good personality.
Stubborn.
A caring person.
They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it.
They love to sleep and can be lazy.
One of a kind.
Not one to mess with.
Are the most attractive people on earth!

Kidnapped.

Time's have changed. I feel it coursing through my body. There is a certain tension. So even as I plan my debut, even as I plan for school & the Christmas season, I feel it. It's lurking in the shadows. An unspoken conversation between my mother and I. I know she's been worried. Especially since this horrible thing, it happens even in broad daylight. It scares her. I know it does. It scares me as well. To think that it could happen. Anything can happen. Fate is like getting raped, you do not know when it can happen.

This afternoon, we had the unspoken conversation. Wrapped around an amount of mutual understanding. I love her. I know my words scared her. But I meant every word.

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Mom: You are no longer a child. I know you are very well aware of what's been happening in Zamboanga. You know what kind of people they are eying... I just want you to be extra careful. Be safe and don't go blabbing around about your back ground.

Me: Mum, let's get one thing straight. If anything happens to me, remember that you still have Monsie. The loss of one child doesn't mean the loss of another one as well, oh and mum, I don't want you to pay the ransom.











~~ Be safe my friends, they are watching.

Dec01 - Plano.

What a way to start December. I have a sore throat, overly sensitive teeth & a three week old cough that's gotten worst as of today. But hey, I'm trying to looks on the bright side, it's only a few more days till Christmas!

Since I was sick I couldn't stick to my plan of doing something good with my supposedly remaining days, "[refer to DEAD ON CHRISTMAS]", I'll start on the second of December.

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December 2, 2008.
- Text everybody in my phone book and thank them for all the little things that they have contributed when it comes to me... might sound like a wacko, but then again it's a start. Also, attend WMSU's parade no matter how much I want to skip it. Imma show some school spirit. XD